No. 60: The Ties That Bind
Hi, everyone:
Yesterday, at the eleventh hour, we received an email from Stella’s school stating that her teacher, who had been out on long-term leave due to a back injury, was returning today.
Talk about waiting until the last minute to communicate a major change!
This is a pretty big shakeup. Stella (and the rest of us) have developed a very good relationship with the long-term substitute teacher. We knew that it could end at any point, but it has been roughly four months since Stella’s original teacher has been able to do her job. So, for it to come out of “nowhere” last night was a bit jarring.
It hurt most of all for Stella, who spent a solid ten minutes sobbing and grieving, and has had her share of tears this morning, according to reports.
There is a lot to this situation. First, we are thrilled that Stella’s teacher has gotten healthy enough to return to work. Outside of missing the children, which she expressed many times, her leave was so long and unexpected that it ended up being unpaid for a good portion. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure as shit helps put food on the table and pay medical bills. The fact that Stella’s teacher chose a Friday before a long weekend as her return day signifies, to me, that she is in dire need of a healthy paycheck.
Which brings me to the part of the situation I’m most frustrated about: the communication plan. There was, obviously, communication between the school, principal, and teacher for her to return to work. How quickly that plan came together, I don’t know, but I find it hard to believe it all happened yesterday.
Prove me wrong, and I’ll eat those words.
In the meantime, I have to believe that the school purposely waited until the eleventh hour to do all of its communication, including informing the long-term sub and all of her co-workers that the change would be happening ... today.
Simply put, this is a bad look. More importantly, it is a poor faith effort to treat everyone involved as people. The “leaders” of the school were so afraid of the potential backlash from the change that they left everyone in the dark.
Truly, in what world would someone want a major bomb dropped on them like that? It was going to suck in one way or another for everyone, including the teacher who is returning and has to re-establish relationships and trust with her students and co-workers. Doesn’t it make sense to give people time to process, say goodbye, and set up a ... I don’t know, PLAN?
Look, I’ve spent over a decade in HR or adjacent-type roles. I’m not the least bit surprised by any of this. Schools are a business just like any other that a lot of us are familiar with. The common thread is that they mostly suck at employee relations. Companies and schools will always publicly say the right things, but privately they are always trying to mitigate negativity, particularly when it relates to THEM, aka the people in HR or those types of jobs.
Everything will be fine. I know that. Everyone will find their way back onto their feet. Stella included. But I’d love to live in a world where our leaders aren’t so afraid to take a hit (or get whacked as they coincidentally talked about on last night’s episode of Abbott Elementary). I’d love for the adults to, you know, actually put the interest of children before their own.
Is it too much to ask? Probably.
In the meantime, please send positive vibes to a very emotional 5-year-old, who didn’t sign up for any of this, but is the one most directly affected by the situation.



May be Union issue and out of admin control. Not pro or con union, issues on both sides. Hang in Stella! Great parents will get kids through anything and that you both are.